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Poetry: Feelings expressed
Kate: The Monolog Of An Eight-year-old Girl

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This is a work in progress.  What follows below are the spoken words in this monolog.  At a later date I will add in the actions and movement onto a seperate page so that it can be read as it will be viewed.  Though the full affect is lost on paper and seeing this for yourself is often heartwrenching.  Keep an open mind through this and remember that some people really do live this as their life.
This is dedicated to my best friends who have been hurt badly not just from abuse but from how people treat them now, but really they are very special if for no other reason than to be alive today.

     "They talked about spankings today.  I wouldn't talk.  I was too jealous.  Some kids said they were lucky to only get spankings.  Them kids had switches used on them.  I still wouldn't talk.  I wanted a spanking, or even to be switched.  Why do some kids get off with so little?  They must be very good kids.  Not me though.  I'm a  bad girl.  Spankings and switches weren't punishement enough for me.  When they were still talking I lied, bad Kate.
     "I lied, said I had to go potty.  I didn't.  Punishment will come later, but just then the tears came.  I had to hide them.  No one could know of the tears.  I don't want to be punished for crying.  It's my fault I hurt, I'm just too bad.  All they have to ever remember are spankings and switches while I remember leather straps beating against my back.  Over and over till I bled.  Bad Kate.  Belts and belt buckles hitting me.
     "Why did I have to be so bad?  Couldn't I just have been a good girl?  I wish the tears would stop.  I don't want to be caught crying.  I don't want to be bad.  But with each memory they come.  Memories of black berry bushes pulled across me.  I couldn't ever tell the truth, just that I fell into a patch by accident.
     "Okay these tears need to stop.  I have to be good so I can go to the party tonight.  Even though I know I can't let them see the cuts and bruises.  I've done it before.  But it's hard.  I hate when they go swimming, 'cause I can't do that.  Last time I tried to lie and say I couldn't swim, but they knew better, so I just say I don't feel good."
Sigh and deep breath
     "My tears are gone now.  Time to wash my face and go back to class.  No I won't talk.  I'll be a good girl and sit there quietly.  Yes I'll sit in deaf silence, maybe forever.  Simple silence.  Good silence.  Good Kate."

Written by:  A lot of us 10/00 
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